brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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