i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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