She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
40s are totally the cure
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