just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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