She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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