Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
soo... how was my night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize