I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
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Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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