I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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