i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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