hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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