You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
