I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize