return my video game
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
