If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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