I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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