nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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