insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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