Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
