After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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