he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I miss vodka workout Fridays
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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