apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
