While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize