you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
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I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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