Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
