Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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