3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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