I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
