So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
