Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
