what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
