Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
