on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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