The maid of honor just puked.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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