Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
