yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
