I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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