i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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