how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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