Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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