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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
