Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
