I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
