This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize