Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
