Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
