no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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