just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
