I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
