kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
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Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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