I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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