So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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