he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
