It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
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If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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