after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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