Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
